Week Three Begins: First Emotional Hurdles

Before my dietician appointment/weigh-in on Tuesday I had written a glowing draft of this post highlighting my successes at experimenting with and trying new vegetables on Week 2, how I was eating salads almost every day, and touting the amazingness of a salad dressing I found made by Litehouse called Lite Salsa Ranch Dressing… but then my weigh-in didn’t go as planned, and my expectations were confounded, and I left feeling a bit deflated.

Let’s get the less-than-stellar progress report out of the way: I came in at 259.4 pounds, which is 0.8 pounds less than last week.

This week’s loss was less than anticipated, even by 20/20 standards I’m guessing, so my dietician has decided to take me off the ubiquitous 20/20 brand protein shakes to see if that yields better success. In lieu of those, I’ll be replacing with self-appropriated protein sources like eggs, egg whites, canned fish, etc. This change-up ruffled my feathers a bit, I was planning on just mastering the veggies for a second week but now the challenge becomes greater as we work to figure out what happened last week.

Tuesday afternoon was a cluster of emotion. I had planned to go to a bike shop after my appointment and that kept me excited, but then an unanticipated trip to Whole Foods afterwards to stock up on new foods was a little chaotic, and by the time I was attempting to do meal planning in the evening I felt totally discombobulated. Combine that with a natural disappointment with the numbers on the scale, and my mood – known to be a fickle one – went from being sky’s the limit to feeling a little down. That mood continued into Wednesday.

Wednesday it was hard to wake up in the morning. I found myself teary-eyed on the way into the gym, for reasons I’m not sure of. I arrived later than I wanted to at my personal training appointment, and I couldn’t summon the mental energy to be in a “good mood” during the session. I wasn’t obnoxious or a complain-y grump or anything – just not all smiles and talkative as I usually am. And my trainer clearly noticed. Within a couple hours, I had an email from my 20/20 counselor asking me how I was doing and if I needed anything. Boy, did I!

She gave me a call later that afternoon and we had a quick pow-wow about what had transpired the last couple days, what I was feeling. Talking about it always makes me feel better, and while it was no magical cure, I definitely felt better about the program. I have nothing but respect for an organization with excellent communication like was displayed between my trainer and counselor, and it helps instill a sense of trust – a sense that I’m really being taken care of – that makes me feel more positive about my commitment to the program.

As to my mood? Well, I must be feeling a little better because I had the tenacity to log in and rewrite this post. I’m going to take things day by day, set little goals for myself, and try to keep reason and logic at the front of my experience with things right now. I know that the scale is only one data point, and there could be any number of reasons it only showed a 0.8 lbs loss last week. What’s more important is my commitment to continue to work towards being healthier, and that commitment remains unshaken.