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This morning, after spending most of the night coughing and tossing and turning and being fairly miserable I decided to bite the bullet and email my 20/20 Lifestyles team to go on official medical hold. I missed my appointments last Monday and Tuesday but felt well-enough to hit my training appointment on Wednesday. But as of Thursday morning I was back to feeling real bad so called in sick for my Friday appointment. I had hoped that with the resting and self-care I’d be back to working condition by tomorrow, but my cough has not yet matured and I’m still feeling really miserable and run-down.
I’ve been spending my days on the couch, or in bed. Getting up enough to refill my water glass and make myself something to eat, but that’s about it. The good news? I’m now completely caught up on “House of Cards”, so no spoilers there. In fact I’m nearly out of things to watch on Netflix, so I’m soliciting suggestions.
I’ve tried really hard to maintain my nutrition during this down time. It’s rough. I can’t taste or smell much of anything, so nothing is really appetizing. And I’ve lacked the energy to spend much time in the kitchen as it is. Most of my meals had typically included dairy, and it’s been hard to pare that down. But I’m happy to report I’ve been hitting my minimums. Today was the most difficult day to stay on target, as my sleep was so awful last night, plus my boyfriend is also very sick. We’re quite the pair.
I weighed myself on Tuesday morning and was happy to see I was still moving down. The scale read 220.4, and my home scale is tested to be usually within 0.2 lbs of the scale at my official weigh-in. I broke out the scale this morning because I’ve been eager to break the 220 weight barrier, and I was stoked to see 218. Under 220! I wish it were under better circumstances, but I’ll take any win I can get right now.
I’m feeling a bit guilty about missing my gym appointments. On Wednesday, my trainer dropped a hint that she got into trouble for offering to reschedule the appointment I missed on Monday, and the last thing I want is to get anyone into trouble. She also mentioned that they don’t get paid for the hour when a client misses an appointment. There was a bit of a weird vibe, so on top of being sick I’ve also been feeling guilty. I always feel guilty when I’m sick, though. I’m just disappointed that hasn’t changed.
So that’s it for now. Hopefully by the time I check back in I’ll feel a lot better.
Blargh. I fancied myself a smalltime superhero for avoiding the various winter coughs, colds, and flus that’ve been plaguing people all season. But alas, it seems some germs have broken through and landed on my vocal cords. If you’re at all interested in a newer green smoothie recipe (or hearing my delightfully seductive sickly-voice), go ahead and click “play” below! Now, I’m off to play some Diablo III.
That is the question. With Valentine’s Day here, a nice meal out is long overdue. I’ve been struggling with my thoughts about going out to eat, and how to achieve success (a good time out with my partner). Here’s the full text of an email I sent to my dietician this morning:
Turns out we’ll be going to The Keg this weekend (the brewery will need to wait for our friends to come back to town next week), but I’ve been going back and forth in my head with an idea, and I’d love to get your professional input on it.On one hand, there’s part of me that is afraid of stepping outside the guidelines and eating rich “no no” foods. On the other hand, as part of a lifestyle change, I’m worried about creating “no no” foods altogether. One part of me wants to order the filet, cooked as plainly as possible, with only extra steamed veggies and learn to be OK with that; but another part of me is thinking: “Look, you only go out once in a blue moon. Have a half order of mashed potatoes. Have a little cheesecake. It won’t kill you”…I’ve been digging into it a lot online. Looking at pros and cons of “cheat meals” (as many refer to it). I really don’t know what to think. Some people think it’s vital to combatting cravings. Some even say there are physiological reasons why it’s good for weight loss (something to do with shocking the body into maintaining an active metabolism). I’d love to think this is all true, and to be okay with having a meal that’s purely enjoyable and that’s not a result of a binge, or eating to the feeling of stuffed-ness. Like, just having a rich meal on a nice occasion and it being okay. Is that realistic?The other part of me is afraid of derailing my progress. Of getting a bite of cheesecake and then having to eat the whole thing. I think I’m being a little irrational in that fear. Like, part of me wants to believe that if I approach it the right way, in a setting that I control in a reasonable way, that I can 100% handle it. How do I know if I don’t test it? Ack, it’s a dilemma!I think this is my long story which can basically be summed up as: for a special occasion meal, I want to me able to taste things that I feel are a “treat”. Is this disordered thinking?Your thoughts?
Stay tuned for her response. Ultimately it’s MY decision, and I’m pretty sure I know what I WANT to do, but I guess I’m looking for permission. It’s a weird thing. Is giving myself permission the right answer? Am I worrying about this too much? Yes to both, is what I think is the correct response. Just trying to honestly represent my struggle here. Feel free to chime in if you’ve had any experience with this struggle yourself!
UPDATE IN COMMENTS!
I know what you’re thinking: TWO VIDEOS within two days?!? I KNOW! I’m just feeling good and wanted to Memorex the moment, so to speak. In this installment, I discuss my big day out in the sun with my dog, Benny. I also announce a new book I’m reading, The Willpower Instinct by health psychologist and Stanford lecturer Kelly McGonigal. Stay tuned for more feedback on what should be a pretty interesting read. And lastly, I discuss my fear of dining out, and what I’m doing to break past it.
Also, I didn’t mention this in my video, but part of my good vibes today may be attributed to the fact that I was able to put on a pair of pants that I haven’t been able to wear IN YEARS. It’s a size 22 – a TINY size 22, if you know what I mean. These pants were the first things I grew out of several years back, so I’m excited to be able to wear them again. It’s a blessing and a curse – they’re the only pair of non-yoga pants that I’m not swimming in!
Now, for your viewing pleasure, today’s installment: